In the past ten years of marriage, Bunker Hubby and I have had relatively few disagreements, and even fewer fights. I like to think this is because we are so compatible, but BH is a realist and knows that it is because, basically, he tolerates my shit (he's a romantic, that man!). When we do disagree, it's usually something to do with our basic, God-given differences; things like his love of the outdoors versus my loathing of cold temperatures, or my pathological need to have straight edges on the bed covers when I make the bed (or as I like to say, the fact that he makes the bed like an INSANE person). Recently, we had another disagreement, and as usual it had to do with a basic difference between us.
I know I share a lot of information on this blog about myself (a LOT), but I may not have shared the fact that I am what is commonly known as an "owl"; that is, I not only enjoy staying up late, but I am most productive and do my best work at night. My best friend Amy is the same way - she and would gladly stay up until 4am and then sleep till noon if the rest of the world wasn't so judgmental about it (haters).
Bunker Hubby is, as you've probably figured out by now, NOT an owl. He is what is known as a "lark"; he loves mornings (sick bastard) and is usually snoring on the couch by 9pm. Now, this causes a bit of a problem when it comes to coordinating schedules. As much as I like being able to go to bed when my husband does, usually I can stay up another three hours or so without a problem. When I wasn't working, this wasn't a problem - there was really nothing for me to stay up until 2am for. But now that I'm working with a friend on his consulting business, I enjoy those extra three hours between 11pm and 2am when I can just put my head down and work like crazy.
The other night we had a "come to Jesus meeting" about it; Bunker Hubs was not-so-happy that I was choosing staying up late to work rather than going to sleep with him, and I was feeling guilty for wanting to stay up. So we worked it out. The final agreement looks something like this: I will try to be a little less engrossed in work and online stuff in the evening, when he's awake, and he will be okay with me staying up until 2am or so, as long as I am able to wake up in the morning and see the kid off to school (what I do after that, until I have to pick up the boy at 4, is up to me and may include naps if I need one).
I think we have Obama to thank for this new found spirit of negotiation. Not because he really does have anything to do with it (after all, one person in this house didn't even vote for him, and although I'm not naming names it wasn't me or the kid, and the cat isn't registered to vote in this country. Yet.), but because it'll piss off Bunker Hubs. Heh heh heh.
Crap, I guess I'm not that grown-up. Oh well, pass the Pop Tarts.